What could be more 2016 than this awful drone decorating a Christmas tree? What could be more in vogue, yet simultaneously so vile that I want to puke up my Christmas dinner before I’ve even caught whiff of it? This monstrosity, this absolutely loathsome self-masturbatory travesty—dreamt up by some flogged, tired, mince pie-addled PR department slowing crawling towards the Christmas holidays—really has topped off an entirely abysmal year with a colossal Christmas crap that will surely only be out-crapped when the real piece of crap starring in the upcoming 2017 full-length motion picture The Emoji Movie becomes a novelty plush toy.
We really have reached peak drone. What does a drone even do anymore? What does it mean to drone?
The truth is, no one is going to buy this drone to decorate their Christmas tree. Of course they’re not. The festive extras that come with this DJI Phantom 4 (a mistletoe attachment for the kiss cam, a confetti box) are simply gimmicks employed in the vain hope of getting people like me to write about it. Even the page URL shows that it’s called the Christmas PR drone.
Read more: ‘Game of Drones’ Is the Worst Headline
Has Motherboard been hoodwinked? Was this the plan all along, to utterly disgust journalists so much that they’re forced into creating some very unhappy holiday content to appease the masses who will then flock to dronesdirect.co.uk? Who knows? It’s December, dear reader, and our year is almost over. There are sure to be many drone stunts awaiting our scorn in 2017.
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from This Drone Decorating A Christmas Tree Is So 2016